COVID-19

Well our world has been completely rocked by COVID-19, the coronavirus, and all of our plans for 2020 are changed in an instant. We, like so many others, are on shelter-in-place status until further notice, which I find to be comforting (as well as frustrating and difficult and all of the other things). It’s nice to have certainty that we are where we should be, at home, in solidarity and protecting the more vulnerable among us.

My family and I had started keeping at home about a week early, thinking that this was coming and with encouragement from our workplaces. This means that we join the legions of parents trying to figure out how to work from home, parent, home school, and also maintain some sense of normalcy while also keeping our children apprised of the situation. This is a delicate balance. But it is one we can manage, and I feel grateful that we have the ability to do this, and the will to do it (as long as it is TEMPORARY)!

I have also been doing all of my therapy online, via telehealth, which has its own challenges of invasion of privacy, as I can now see inside my clients’ houses and lives in a way I couldn’t before; internet connectivity; figuring out where to look and how to manage the background noise of my own home, kids, and dog. But again, we can do this, and I have felt glad and grateful that this technology exists at a time when we suddenly and completely needed it. My clients have adapted and seen that it can be helpful to have a time and a place that they know they can talk with someone about their fears and struggles – and they ALL have them. We are all, every one of us, having fears and struggles with this. It is my hope, as I’ve worked on with all of my clients, that we can all also feel the gratitude and solidarity of this hard time; that we can recognize that we are doing this for each other. That is what will keep us going.

In that vein, I hosted a short Mindful Meditation 101 virtual class on Monday night that is now available as a recording. I think that it was helpful in creating a sense of calm and peace in these times where we are so desperately searching for them. I hope that the class will be helpful to you all, too, as you look for that sense of calm and peace, that you realize you can create them yourselves, right there in your own home.

Stay home and stay well,

Jessie

Mental Health Pyramid

My husband, an engineer, asked me, “Isn’t there something like the Food Pyramid for how to take care of your mental health?” WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA! So, I created this.

I give you the Mental Health Pyramid!

Start at the bottom and work your way up:

Social Connection doesn’t mean that you have a ton of close friends or supportive family members. It means that you have some meaningful connections – people in your life that you can go to when you need help or support, want to talk things through, or just need to reach out. This can even be a person you know only virtually, if it is truly someone real that you can talk to about things. If you don’t have this, Step One to better mental health is to find it. If there truly isn’t someone in your immediate life that you can reach out to, this is what a therapist is for. Find someone today! And talk to the people you do have in your life – we all need a place to connect and relate.

Goals/Purpose are what give our lives meaning. It might be just deciding what the next thing you want to work on is, personally or professionally. It might be thinking about what is important to you, or where you want to be in 5-10 years (start with 1 day in the future – something you want to do tomorrow – if five years is too far in the future!). This can be a concrete plan or something really written down on paper, or it can be ideas and interests, or new things you want to try. You have to hold a sense that you are heading somewhere to stay motivated to keep going, even when things get difficult.

Mindfulness/Self-soothing Skills are the things we do to stay or get back on track in the moment. Hard things are going to happen. There are going to be times we don’t feel awesome. Practicing mindfulness skills and self-soothing can both prevent the negative emotions from taking up so much space, and also shorten the length of time we have to spend in them. Self-soothing skills are things that you do to soothe yourself, or make yourself feel better – things like taking a bath, listening to music, giving yourself a break or a treat. The best things you can do to self-soothe are those that are free and those that don’t have negative consequences down the road (i.e. smoking or drinking or overeating) – try to identify something free and healthy that you can build in to your self-soothing regimen. Mindfulness skills are things we do to stay in the present moment, to pull our minds out of ruminating about things that have already happened or things that might happen in the future. Staying in the present moment is grounding and soothing as well, and reduces many mental health symptoms all by itself (and it’s free and healthy). Check out the gallery of Mindfulness activities for a quick start.

Lifestyle is really about these things: Sleep, nutrition, exercise, living environment – the things that keep us physically healthy and also impact our mental health in really serious ways. Pay attention to where you have trouble with your sleep, your eating habits, and your exercise (or lack thereof). Think about how you’re doing with all three things every day. Even small improvements in these areas can really make you feel better quickly!

Therapy is really helpful for a lot of people and a lot of different issues. You can go see a therapist even if you’re not quite sure what is wrong or you don’t have a “problem” right now. It can be helpful just to talk to someone who is outside of your current situation and life and can give a different perspective. You can try different therapists to find the best fit, and you only have to go for as long as you want! Many therapists will give you a free first session, which is a great time to just let them know what is going on with your life and see if you feel good about the response. You can connect here to ask any questions you might have about what therapy is like or how to go about finding a therapist.

Medication (as needed) – Mental health medications are really important and necessary for a lot of people. If you have tried other things in the pyramid and they haven’t worked, or even if you’re just curious about whether a medication might help you, talk to a qualified prescriber right away. Your regular doctor can be a starting point – most physicians and nurse practitioners can prescribe basic antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications. For more complex issues, you’ll want to find a psychiatrist who has some more mental health training and be sure to find someone that you feel comfortable with, who really listens to you and has your goals and best interests in mind.

For more information or training on this graphic or any of the points above, please contact us!

Jessie Everts, PhD LMFT