openness

Open and Willing

I’ve been working on a number of projects in a lot of different areas, but something keeps occurring to me. As we talk about just bringing mental health into the public comfort – beyond just the public consciousness, we want it to be something that is in (or on the edge of) all of our comfort zone to talk about! – we’re really talking about helping people develop openness and willingness.

We have to start by being open to the discussion, first. To just feel like mental health is something that is okay to talk about, that we are open to hearing about it from others and maybe sharing about it for ourselves. That’s it, that’s the first step! And wow, I’m seeing a lot of movement in that first step – people talking about mental health and being vulnerable to social critique in ways that are stronger and more brave than I think we’ve ever seen.

And then there needs to be a willingness – a willingness to learn, to maintain that openness, and to maybe even try to do something different. This is where we want to get to, as a society, so that we’re not just talking about mental health more, but we’re actually all partners in doing something about it – we’re all active participants in supporting mental health in our selves and in others. This might mean recognizing that I might have a problem with anxiety, or with depression, or with drinking (that’s the opening)…and being willing to try to do something about it (there’s the willingness).

I see both of these as a practice – something that we can all develop if we work at them, being open and willing. It’s not something that we’re all great at, naturally. Some of us need to make a conscious practice of cultivating feelings of openness and willingness in the face of the fear that often gets in our way of being either. How we do this is not by ignoring the fear, but it’s by recognizing the fear, and stepping past it. Keeping going, even if it follows us in. Recognizing that being open and willing is scary, and that the benefits of practicing them far outweighs what happens if we close ourselves off and sit in unwillingness. What happens then is that we stay stuck.

So, I’ve been and would encourage others to be aware of how you practice these two things in your everyday life. When can you practice being open? When can you practice willingness? How is it scary? And how do you walk with the fear?

I’ll be excited to talk more about how this goes with a group I’ll be speaking with next week for whom this is a pretty new and revolutionary challenge. I’m open to their thoughts and willing to do the hard work with them!

Jessie Everts, PhD LMFT

“Push Harder” by Mr_Malvic

“Push Harder” by Mr_Malvic